This is not me. one crafted miles.
She was not this because she never wanted to be this. Huh! Calm down “this” doesn’t have a line. Not just a single line to say.
Always like always acquired what not? everything she wanted. The struggle of dark circles, chaos in the heart to teared apart of working hard, what do we say in today’s world? Working like an ass off? Yes, exactly. She had it.
The inner voice never says wrong, it never makes you feel wrong and that’s what she used to listen to. It has no reference, no source and no backups. Such beauty gives power to inhale and stand out though it seems so wrong to outer world. She never cares about you or about your extended one’s because one world is within us. And that the world needs to feel safer. Right? How right it may sound yet the case is no more same. Alas!
Accommodated by many illiberal is now her reality. Intolerance interference is she dealing with. Definitely her heart says like yours to get up and move. Yet, with time, patience and values enduring inside still the girl. She doesn’t feel enough to fight. Those beauty of inner voice seems voiceless to her.
No. the girl is not enjoying it, who would enjoy the unheard disruptions and breakdown? She misses old she. Diagnosing the circumstances had hit her badly with reality. She being part of which she used to take a stand against.
Wondering who is she? She is in seven districts of Nepal; fighting her own battle in one corner of the room that we call as a “staff room”. Eff! The place where raw experience of what a politics look like. One witness to encounter what a favoritism feels like, one suffocation of male domination breaths like, one trauma of displacement haunts like, one best example of my movement why my nation needs to get changed.
Before her, someone has already seen this actuality, that is why the movement got started. She is in qualitative educational equity movement in public school, she is a teacher not as a profession but as a need, as a power and as a voice. When she decided to give a voice, she is more voiceless now, she has left home to empower to build their own shelter, she says yes so that you can say No someday.
Despite of all, she is being weak. She is exhausted in this “sarkari jaagir” she herself is drowning while she wanted them to swim, Yet, she has seen something they are not less they are just too lazy, however there to be a Red Bull though.
As, she is setting up a line she is not taking any stand. She seems voiceless nevertheless not unperceptive. Taking is never an accepting, she was definitely not this, she still hears the inner voice and it says Do not Stop. Continue until it hits you, I was always like this.